


We'll always have Colorado

by IWanderintheGardenofForkingPaths



Series: Who do you love, Audrey? [1]
Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Audrey and Duke talk Post-Kiss, Banter, But not required, Cannon compliant, Casablanca References, Colorado, F/M, I read through an OT3 lens, Missing Scene, OMG Haven stop eye talking and say what you mean, except don't stop... especially Nathan, who's not actually in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 10:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19789186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWanderintheGardenofForkingPaths/pseuds/IWanderintheGardenofForkingPaths
Summary: I always felt like there was a scene missing from the Colorado trip after Audrey returned from getting 'air.' I assume the writers intend us to think Audrey returned to find Duke pretending to sleep and they both just went to bed ignoring the Nathan shaped elephant in the room. I like to think they didn't...





	We'll always have Colorado

**Author's Note:**

> Haven Forever! Thanks for reading. (More involved notes at the end <3)
> 
> (If you've never watched Casablanca: A. Fix yourself (said with love) B. Youtube search "Casablanca Airport Scene")
> 
> -(19Aug19) Formatting edit to fit with series. Content mostly the same.

The night air was cool, but nothing compared to what Audrey was used to in Haven. She had been walking for about half an hour and had gotten her emotions and thoughts back under control. She was never going to be able to put the genie back in the bottle. She had kissed Duke. She had kissed DUKE. She had KISSED Duke. _God, what a kiss. _She still felt hungry and itchy in such a delicious way. Sooo much better than the bag of Funions she had finished off 10 mins ago. Onion breath had momentarily seemed like the best idea she could come up with to keep herself from going back and finishing what she started with Duke.__

____

____

Ok, so maybe not so much under control, as reordered. Amazing a kisser as Duke Crocker was, sleeping with him was not Funions and skydiving. It wasn’t something just a little crazy that she needed to knock off her bucket list. She couldn’t do that to him, or to Nathan. The awkward energy between her and her partner just added to the frustration and confusion that had fueled her melt down. The image of Nathan finding out that she had run off to have cheap motel sex with Duke three weeks before leaving him forever was what had really dumped the icy-hot on her libido. 

She loved her boys. Both of them. Yes, in a normal non-troubled world, it was much easier to picture the life she could build with Nathan that what kind of future she could figure out with Duke. But, she didn’t live in a nice apocalypse free town; She lived in Haven.

Not for the first time, Audrey reflected on how similar two men who could not be more different really were. Both were so guarded with their trust and their love, but they protected it in different ways. Nathan was a statue in whom the observer could see what they chose, but would never know the truth behind the stone until he let them. Underneath, Nathan was like raw nerve. It was no wonder his trouble was to go numb in self preservation. His intelligence and perception made sure he noted every slight and rejection. All feeding back to fuel his shyness and tendency to monosyllabically observe rather than take part. But while Nathan’s armor could be summed up as ‘still waters run deep,’ Duke was a whole other body of water. 

Duke was like watching the sun reflect off the ocean. Whether turbulent or calm, you could never see past the flash and reflection on the surface. He plays the trickster and seducer. He gives you just a taste of the trust and love you seek, but, by the time you realize that he's had you distracted with charm and a grin, he’s said not a word of substance about himself and has disappeared. But, god, if you were lucky enough to get past the flash and be adopted by the man, he would never abandon you. Even if he would spend the rest of time just waiting for you to abandon him.

That, more so even, than whatever she felt for Nathan, was why Audrey had stopped the kiss. She was the person these two amazing men had started to let beneath their armor and she hated that she might be the one to break their hearts. As much of a front as Duke put up, if she started something with him and then backed off (be it for Nathan or the Barn) it would only feed into the feelings of abandonment she knew he struggled with.

Both her men were the weapons that their fathers had forged them into. Nathan had been melded into strong but brittle steel through emotional, then physical, isolation; all in search of the Chief’s approval. Duke, who sought no one’s approval, had been shown the carrot and been beaten by the stick so many times, he was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. He had to become self reliant and now fought to maintain his self determination with every breath he took.

“Well, at least for once it’s not the girl that has the Daddy issues,” Audrey muttered. She stood staring at the motel room door. Regardless of how many troubled houses she’d had to kick in the door to, she had never been more nervous about what was on the other side than she was right now. She knew what she wanted to say to Duke, now all she had to do was go through the door and say it.

The only light still on was the lamp on the bedside table. The dimness gave Audrey the last bit of courage she needed to enter the room and shut the door behind her. Duke lay beneath a blanket facing inward, toward the back of the sofa, with his feet sticking off of the tufted arm. He looked so endearingly uncomfortable that Audrey knew he wasn’t asleep. He was simply giving her the option of retreat. It was in that backhanded way he always took care of her, and Nathan for that matter, when they got stubborn. It was the last straw. She really needed to tell him how she felt. _Woman up, Parker. ___

____

____

She approached the sofa and sat lightly on the edge of the cushion, by his knees. She rested a hand there just as gently. “Duke?” she began, “I know we would normally just pretend nothing happened until we actually got good at pretending nothing happened, but, even though stopping was the right thing, I’m glad I got to kiss you at least once. You and Nathan are the most important people in the world to me, and, I’m not giving up, but, if I do have to leave in 20 days, I don’t think I could stand being the reason you two don’t have each other.”

Audrey let out a huff of air as she got out what she needed to say. A moment later Duke rolled over slightly and looked up to meet her eyes.

“You really think Officer ‘Grumpy Pants’ is going to let anybody but you ‘be there’ for him?” Duke smirked. 

Audrey finally felt the last tension leave her shoulders. Duke was giving surly, snarky responses to deep questions that deflected attention by poking fun at Nathan... all was right with the world. They would make it back to friends.

“He has Jordan,” Audrey got out.

Duke only reply to this statement was the raised eyebrows it deserved. Audrey swore the crickets outside got louder just to further illustrate Duke’s silent commentary.

Audrey laughed uncomfortably, “Yeah, okay, maybe not.” She absentmindedly took one of Duke’s hands and started to trace soft lines around the veins on its back. “But, I do know a Captain ‘Pain in the Ass’ well enough to know he won’t stop showing up to try.”

Taking hold of the hand fiddling with his own, Duke sat up and leaned in to rest his lips on Audrey’s temple in the phantom of a kiss. Both relaxed into the gentle connection that allowed them to lose eye contact for a moment. But, as always, Duke couldn’t help but provide commentary.

“Just for the record, the only reason I’m not pushing this is because it makes me Humphrey Bogart.”

Audrey laughed, “What?” She leaned back to meet his now dancing eyes.

“You know, in Casablanca? He gives up the girl so that they can all go off and fight the Nazis in their own ways. Except, damn but would I trade in the Troubles for a few Nazis to punch.”

Audrey couldn’t help but laugh at Duke’s mental wondering. Except, he hadn’t hit too far from the truth. “It doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.” Audrey barely got the line out around the lump forming in her throat.

“Now, now… Here’s looking at you kid.” Duke deadpanned as he lightly held Audrey’s chin. They just looked at each other. Not saying anything more, but saying so much anyway.

Audrey wasn’t sure how long they might have stayed that way but no one else could break the moment like Duke Crocker, “You totally got the Funions.”

Audrey cracked up, covering her mouth self consciously. “C’mon, Duke." Audrey chuckled, "You made me uncomfortable just looking at you try to fit on this sofa.” She yanked on the hand she still held. “You can share the bed if you want.”

“Only if you brush your teeth first.”

Audrey laughingly agreed as they both got up from the couch. She went to the bathroom to brush her teeth as Duke returned the blanket to the bed. His babbling on full tilt, all Audrey caught was something about how he didn’t think Humphrey Bogart was really a PG cuddling guy between the scene cuts, but that he’d be a gentleman.

It was only a short while later that they both lay quietly under the covers. Some of the awkwardness had seeped back into the space between them, until Duke reached out and drew Audrey over so that her head rested on his shoulder. He turned into Audrey so that he could breathe in the scent of the cool night air that still lingered in her hair.

He spoke into the top of her head, “It was better that we stopped. He was like a ghost standing in the corner. Hurting him would have stained it.” Duke paused before continuing, “Regardless of Jordan, you know its always been you for him, right?” 

There was a quiet sadness in Duke’s voice that Audrey was not used to hearing. All she wanted in that moment was to make Duke feel a little less alone. “You know, regardless of the scowls and the handcuffing, he cares about you too?”

Duke just lets out some masculine noise between a grunt and chuckle before they both allow a more comfortable silence to creep softly back over the room.

Duke’s yoga breaths were so even that Audrey couldn’t tell if he had drifted off to sleep yet. She couldn’t help saying it again, “I’m glad we got tonight.”

“We’ll always have Colorado,” was the last thing Audrey heard before giving in to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo... I'd love to hear from you. I'm never sure if my writing is giving off the subtle nods and winks I intend (see "daddy issues/doors" paragraph) or signaling like a brazen hussy at last call (see my NOT having duke take the bait on 'pain in my ass' [<3 Haven Bloopers]). As tagged, I know I get a bit wordy at times. Please let me know if it gets lost in translation anywhere (google translate hasn't updated Spazy Nerd to English in a while).
> 
> I'm a three gulls, OT3, Audrey/Nathan/Duke fan, but wanted this to work no matter who you ship. This is mostly a stand alone but to my mind it queues up my series perfectly so I linked them. The series starts Duke/Audrey|Lexie heavy due to the timeline but works back around to bring everyone back together. It is still a work in progress, but I very probibly will reference this in that series, so do with that info what you will.


End file.
